Author interview about the book

The content, in brief

How can we see ourselves more clearly without blaming ourselves?

Thomas Gessner explores this question by describing

‘how unconscious love shapes our lives out of an inner

necessity.’

Starting from the present, in the first part of the book he looks

at our past, our ‘then.’ How do

teenagers, children or unborn babies

in the womb act, feel and think? It shows how ‘dependent love’

ensures our survival and makes no mistakes in doing so.

In the second part, he examines the other pole of love,

‘self-love.’ It is concerned with growth and has no

interest in survival and control. It seeks fulfilment

and devotion and can lead us to a more relaxed inner

adulthood, to living in the ‘now.’

The third part is about how and why we unconsciously

activate the survival strategies of the past in similar

situations today, such as in conflicts,

symptoms or crises. As soon as we recognise these inner ‘echoes’,

acknowledge them and entrust ourselves to the present,

we become calmer, freer and more powerful inside.

How we love – excerpt

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